About 3 weeks after, right after a fight we had after my bday, he told him he cant find them. Every time I have to make the first move conversation and ask what to do, He has no idea. and that is why up to now im still here with him despite the unhappiness. I thinking breaking up with him is definitely a stretch, but Im tired of begging my boyfriend for some reasonable attention. But if you have no idea why your boyfriend stopped making an effort in your relationship, talk to him. Especially because hes not an introverted person, he has a lot of friends he goes out with often to play board games or to bars. My boyfriend is exactly the same and Ive been relating so much to what youve said in your post! my boyfriend doesnt want to spend time with me either but i dont trip i just stay at home i have no friends i do all i can for him and his children and he texts other girls send titts and pussy shots from his children mothers i rub his feet when he gets off work feed him so that he could save his money he even went on a trip without me but i keep his daughter while he was gone and all i ask is for him to spend a little time with me or even buy me a gift hell i would be happy with a trip to mcdonalds i know thats sad am totally not happy with this relationship. Oh n did i mention that i literally have NOWHERE ELSE TO GO? i cried a lot i asked myself will i love him back after knowing everything. I am sad, let down, depressed, jealous of every woman out there, sexually frustrated beyond comprehension. I felt neglected and like he stopped trying in our relationship. I dont think what Im asking for is difficult to do that it would take months to see any results. Weve been together for 2 years or so. We were friends for about 2 years before I gave him a shot and when we were still just friends he would try to spend as much time with me as possible and hangout all the time. This has all happened within the last 3 months. I am very fortunate to be free from that. For the past year and a half he stopped being aggressive after a night out of drinking. Its easy for him to say he crashed at a friends, but let him get over the guilt or offers an explanation before he comes back. Its been bugging me for a while but I finally decided to do something about the fact that he doesnt really seem to make an effort to see me. i asked if he was going to write in his and he flipped his lid. We then will start to accept crumbs and feel sick inside. I cannot communicate with him. He also is financially stressed and gets seasonal sadness (its winter here in Wisconsin) and I try my hardest to support his needs with it all but it drains me always having to take care of him while I get nothing in return except more expectations. Meaning if he doesnt step up when you pull back. August came around I went back to school. I was dipping into my bucket to bring him up but I wasnt getting anything in return. Hi im kushi, 25yrs old.. My boyfriend and I have been in our relationship for 3yrs now.. He has his mum doing everything for him. Im certain when he got up in the middle of the night drunk and angry because I was trying to cuddle and woke him up (he got dressed and turned all the lights on to start manically cleaning the house) that he probably threw them in the garbage. And so on. Life is to short to live on a roller coaster. I dont have a say in anything and I cant express how I feel because he tells me its all on me and pretty much its my fault I feel the way I do. However, just before christmas time, the same things started to happen again, effort drops off. He has said that he would maybe consider living together in five years. I finally had to let him go. Fast forward to after the trip, he rolled back into town and expected me to be completely free for him to come over to loaf around my apartment. But I just dont have enough energy to even cry sometimes. And I decided Ive had enough, and it wasnt even a full month yet! He said he loved me but that he was not happy with me and that it has been a long time since he began feeling this way. We had romantic dates and fell in love at first sight. You want him to be different. I try to sit and talk about things and he rejects or belittles my input. Or maybe your boyfriend is dealing with an ex-wife and custody issues, and just doesnt have the time or energy to make an effort in your relationship. 7) He thinks youre not interested and has given up If the guy who has suddenly started ignoring you was super interested not long ago but has apparently stopped pursuing you he could have decided to cut his losses. My bf has been acting distance from me lately. So..instead of taking to his office or doing it later. Ive been with my boyfriend for 2 years and recently he has started to change. Especially since he cant even deliver the bare minimum in this relationship. Till then, you should be determined not to commit to anything or anyone. Bc of me being in trouble for stuff my mom sent me away with my grandma to another state for fall break. I love him more than ever and I know I made the biggest mistake of my life. Maybe what you see as your boyfriends lack of effort is simply a normal part of being in a solid, comfortable relationship. That will drive you crazy too. Weve been dating a little over a year. im going through the same thing my boyfriend will not text me nor will he call me when i text him again he reply and said his mother getting on his nerve he goes to her house to take care of her he said he been going through alot with his mom very upset but my thing is what about me where do i fit into your life i dont even know if were still in a relationship my daughter say dont text or call him we been together over a year hes 52 im 55 what should i do im lost, Ive been dating my boyfriend for about a year and a half now. Let him see how much you value the relationship, remind him of how much you have built together and feed on what you both can achieve without hindrance. I am getting back to a new normal. It isnt fair. He will never be that boyfriend ever again. Again, tons of excuses. And when I ask him what hes been doing that he cant call me, he gives me horrible excuses. I just requested patience. He stopped initiating sex and one day i found saved Google image searches under very specific terms saved on his phone and realized why i wasnt getting laid anymore. this article is useful, thank you. We have an 18 year age gap. He is a nice guy as a whole but its the fact he went out of his way for me a handful of times that gave me a little hope in this If you ever need a friend dont hesitate to reach out. Also be prepared to lose him. But now that he has you he sees he doesnt have to try anymore. He said he had not thought about it and was not feeling well that day, so would think about it when he felt better and let me know in a few days. I just feel stupid and I kinda want to give up on him. The only thing I get from him are words. What should I do? Then I gave up on trying to figure it out. I asked him a couple of times why he doesnt put any effort and he just told me since we live together I shouldnt have to and I get that point but it doesnt mean just completely give up on putting a effort into the relationship. HE ALWAYS FORGETS. Should I just leave and find someone that can give me those things? I try to do something positive and you piss on it. I have been dating my boyfriend for 6 months also and at the beginning he put in so much effort above and beyond and now its like he is a different person. I just dont feel like he loves me , why am I with him & what is he not getting ? Never happened. Let him come to you. And more likely, he wont change. One particularly painful reason that a partner has checked out could be that they've lost interest in the relationship and don't wish to pursue it any longer. good luck to you. Need. We girls if determined, are so much more stronger than guys Angela. Im still dissatisfied I guess. Hes now making $175k a year plus an extra $5000/mo retainer as a consultant with his old job. His family are complicated, we rushed into our relationship, live together almost 5 years. Im so upset. He is not a bad person, his life I guess doesnt have room for me..This decision has however, broken me, I know it was right but it still hurts I just hope I wasnt expecting too much??? I am tired of him not making a plan and his sudden switch in personalities. Advice? Yet he continues to text me daily, send me daily updates on everything he is doing, etc. He sounds willing to work on your relationship, be thankful for that. We started with skyping during weekends, to calling sometimes to texting only and recently weve stopped texting as often. Is Your Boyfriends Mother Ruining Your Relationship? If you always cook dinner, take a night off. When you get his attention, never hesitate to say your mind. I know how hard it is to let go, but I think you have to. Get away from him immediately! I know that may seem shallow of me to care about social media that much, but its only because he posts every aspect of his life online and theres never anything about me? Maybe he no longer loves you the way he used to. So thats why he wasnt there and because his board broke. Nothing cleaned up, ingredients still on the counter, and not one thing made for me to eat.. and even better, after letting me in the door, not a how was work. I did confront him regarding that and he said he still feels the same.But his recent actions have been bugging me and I cant help but feel like hes ignoring me on purpose,like hes tired of me. I suppose its not at all about him but when I have time to think, my mind goes to him. Thats Progress! But with the current situation with the virus we will probably meet even less. I started breaking down on zoom and crying. I help him with college work a lot, and he often expresses to me how he feels so much calmer and relaxed when were together (which is true because his mood just completely changes and hes always so happy). He does have some medical issues, but seems to be taking care of most of them, he also says he does suffer from depression and I am wondering if this is what is happening. We fight a lot almost every week because my needs are not met. I dont know why he continues on with me if he has no interest. My biggest obstacles are, if I make new friends or find a new boyfriend someday, how long before Im labeled as a b**ch and rejected all over again. Like once or twice a week.I asked him to put in some efforts and he said he would change and that he is trying. Now if I even suggest or hint at sex it is another argument. He was not able to go back to school again because his government decided that no one will graduate this year. I get Fridays and the weekend which I use to do an my studying, school work, exercise, self care, etc. What Im gonna do? He regularly bought me presents and he showered me with compliments. If your boyfriend or others say that youre expecting too much, read 11 Ways to Stop Being the Clingy Girlfriend in a Relationship. I just lack security in myself that I need to fill. But he laughed at me. I have met and gone out with his friends. I just dont know if Im asking for too much or if hes just making up excuses. He would change his mind a lot from going to his home state to staying and ever since hes been on and off in our relationship and very careless he doesnt put effort into it after everything I HAVE DONE FOR HIM. When he was drinking, he was attentive, affectionate, and fun. Thats it. Never any action. We just hang out in my house. I know that probably sounds silly but his replies are shorter and he doesnt joke around with me like he used to do. I started skate boarding and going to the skate park. It wasnt any thing bad. he said its his karma for leaving me behind. So i moved out and got my own place and we continued dating. If you really love him and see potential in the relationship then give it a try. If you succumb to what you wish your relationship and boyfriend was, then youll find yourself begging or manipulating your boyfriend into making an effort in your relationship. Since then my boyfriend has made no effort in our relationship. Help. NO CLEANING. Maybe what they need to here is (as an example)- Im not feeling like a priority to you, and therefore what I need is for you to make dinner with me one night this week so we can reconnect.. Hello everyone, Ive been with my boyfriend for two years, hes a good man, kind and gentle and always takes care of me. I had an awful night at work as a nursing assistant with 18 patients who were ungrateful and nurses who treated me like crap after doing everything for everyone around me. He didnt even make an effort to see me or plan anything the week before he went out of town. There are plenty more examples. Im a very physical touch/ Quality time person. You cant make him love you, or force him to make an effort in your relationship. Find a low-key, nonthreatening way to approach him. I live in London and met him just outside the city and weve been together 5 years this summer but we are currently having ZERO sex he texts me NEVER and calls me NEVER! Now that family is gone and I have to build a new support system from scratch. Meet new people, and make quality friends who youd rather spend time with and make him feel that he is not the ONLY one you have, but a choice you have made to spend some time of your life with. I went through a period of unemployment and he was not emotionally supportive through this period. Hey, I wasnt planning on replying to anyone, because I was just listening to other people with similar stories, but I actually went through a very similar thing. Niw he say he is not happy, he ask if u cannot forget that incident how we continue this relationship, he say i dont know how tontalk with him, donot respect him, and now he does not make any efforts to fix our dying relationship. Best wishes. I realize ,Im no cup of tea at times either but I never lied, cheated or left him in the dark .I feel incredibly cheated by the amount of time I spent culturing and cultivating a better life for him so that he may go impress someone else because of what I had endured dealing with his crumbs of affection why is it with men its all up your ass or nothing at all where is the balanced gentleman I so crave ? She told him to break up with me so he emailed me and said we needed to take a break until the situation gets better. i dont know what i should do since i know that he has feelings for me but i feel like he treats me like a friend a lot of the time. Ive been giving some hint and already talked about how I feel and why Im acting like this. I ask him what was his intention of saying it and give him the space to nagivate the answer by himself. Its been almost two years and weve been inseparable ever since but lately it seems like something has changed. He wanted to hang out everyday which at first I though was strange but I started to so after while it was weird for both of us to not be around each other every day. Idk what to do anymore. Maybe he will change one day, but you shouldnt suffer while he figures it out. Now we seem so disconnected. I moved across the world during the honey moon phase of our relationship. That also means i cant get a job either. Get woke honey, the mans just not that into you. I dont know how to stop nagging him and always expecting things but Im so insecure at this point about where we stand and his feelings its like I just need validation. He has told me over and over that I need to stop. 1) You would start to see your boyfriend noticing how positive, content and a happy individual you are turning out to be suddenly, and then wonder if therell be any other guys whod potentially be eyeing youbecause you are really becoming such a happy and lovely girl. And thats what messes with me a lotwhy doesnt he want to do the same for me. i just dump my 2mnths loveless relationship before it gets deeper. He is playing you and gas lightning you! He works constantly and Im a stay at home dog mom (Recently weve been wanting kids). This is an old post but was wondering what you did? because of this i have been resentful and he became more distant as a result of that. Even when you are depressed you can do little things, especially if its for someone you love. NO AFFECTION. And the only way to do that to take more care of our own selves, love ourselves moretruly love our self! Girl, you need to get out of that relationship now! God bless! is there a light at the end of the tunnel? You are worth it. I got so angry and disappointed after that. Were both in college and when we started dating we were together all the time, we went out together with friends, we watched movies, etc. Me and him were in that I rlly like you stage lol. Should I tell him how I feel about not talking enough or should I just let it fade away? Its long distance and he is 8 hours ahead of me. Were both going to France in September as part of college and were going to different parts of France. Communicate with him without fighting. After his birthday he left his sisters and moved in with his mom. Also his mum is very protective of him and has him wrapped around his finger, when she wants him home he goes which is very frustrating for me. I wish I had answers for you girl, but Im very much in the same boat, hope we can figure something out, hang in there! When I started dating him I was very strong in my religion. Doing this you will find out more about yourself. I noticed he changed a bit, he does little effort in our relationship. Does not show any effort at all, but claims to love me so much. They had another baby but as the saying goes you shouldnt have a baby to fix things so they split up. I dont know what to do and need some advice. Now I am sitting alone in my room crying and reading online articles about how to feel better about myself. Why should women do all the work no they shouldnt it should be a mutual thing. Hes too shy to talk to you directly. 's life, you're sending clear signals that your partner isn't important to you. I know that a key to a healthy relationship is communication, but I did tell him few times now to go out have dinner or something, and I told him the other day (frankly) that at this stage of our relationship I want him to do some effort to impress me. He has not made me do any of this. When he is sad I quit everything to cheer him up. Then quarantine hit. Hi Beyza! I wish he understood how confused and unloved this makes me feel. I feel it has been one sided in many ways and all he has given me is monetary odds and ends to compensate for the lack of emotional effort on his part. I can tell you have much love for him but imagine how good itll be to love someone that has that same love and 10x more for you. But how can we trust someone who says they love us and then, intentionally hurt us? I can sorta relate to you, my boyfriend and I have been dating for 3 months, but our relationship took off really quickly, and he seemed like the perfect boyfriend for the first month, but after that, its seemed like Ive gradually lost his respect. I am not an emotionally stable person I take meds for anxiety and depression and have for years now. Oct 1, 2017 I was at the Rought 91 shooting in Vegas, Febr 2018 my husband at the time decided to go back to being a Jehovahs witness and puts a ton of stress on our 17 years of marriage, March 2018 get fired from new job of 2 months, July 2018 he cheats on me and divorces me. He hasnt wine and dine me yet, nor is affectionate until it comes to bed time. I got back with my ex after months. Im still in high school. I realized he was not the man for me. Its a painful truth. he is the most amazing boyfriend i have ever had or so it was a little while ago. m tired n dont know what to do anymore! sometimes i question if he even has time for me at all. Or also he went out and was feeling confused about the relationship where he didnt come home therefore he ended things in the morning after having a long night prob thinking about it. Especially if you have a SON!! do you have to have contact for this. But now everything is so plain and horrible. Work, exercise, self care, etc and he said he would change and is! A baby to fix things so they split up effort drops off hes doing. Into you goes you shouldnt have a baby to fix things so they split up what you as! 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